Mourning, just about every Sabbath

Today is one of those days.  It’s heavier than most.  Filled with loss and longing, with thanksgiving sprinkled in for good measure.  I tried to fight it.  I was listening to music and distracting myself with a geometry game, but then 3 songs in a row came on… I skipped the first one, skipped the second, saw the third and said, “You’ve got to be kidding me?!”  So, I did what was clearly being asked of me (probably by the spirits)… I rewound back to the first one and let all three play through.  Then, I took it a step further and created a playlist.  The playlist was overdue.  But, heaven knows that I didn’t expect to cry today.  After all, I had a massive crying fit just 5 days ago.  It’s the same bullshit stuff over and over again, too.  I’m mourning people and mourning the past.  Since it can’t be changed, I’m not sure that I want to have to “feel” it.  But, such is life.

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